Here we are, about to step into the holidays which is always a busy time. I have been feeling the need to post. Following through on my promise to share my journey as encouragement for yours. However I haven't had a clear idea of what to blog about. Well God showed up today and I can't wait to share it with you. For me, the wait was worth it and I hope you feel the same.
Last Sunday at church we sang one of my favorite worship songs, "I Surrender" by Hillsong. Here is a youtube link with lyrics. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFORjUcHkKU
Anytime we sing this song I feel so much truth as I sing the words. I surrender myself to His plan. I want to know Him better so that I can hear Him more clearly and be more like Him. But if I am being completely honest, part of my prayer comes from a desire to feel a purpose, have more direction. A year and a half ago my family moved to Texas for my husbands job. I left everything I was in North Carolina and am still waiting to figure out who I am in Texas. This is a little figurative but go with me. People knew me in North Carolina. I was a mom and wife, a choir director, a worship leader, a performer at the local theatre, a Bible study leader, a friend, an event planner, and so on. Here in Texas I am barely even known as a mom and wife. Again, a little exaggerated but go with me. I am a goal driven person and feel like I have mostly been wandering for the better part of the last 15 months now. I believe God told me to write a book about Godly marriage and waiting with anticipation for your spouse last February. That was my direction for a short time. Over the course of the next 3 months I completed a rough draft with much support from my husband but that rough draft still sits on my desk. So when I say I am surrendering to God, it is in hopes that He will give me some direction, goals that I can strive for and achieve.
Well this past Sunday as we were singing "I Surrender" and I was imagining what God had in store for me, He told me to surrender right where I am. Instead of looking for the next step or a big project, He asked me to sit right where I am and work on the responsibilities He has already given me. To me that means being the best mom and wife I can be, facilitating the Bible study I host on Monday nights, and studying the book of Ruth with young women in mind. I can't say I was excited to hear it, but I also can't deny it is what I heard.
Monday came and went and I was feeling pretty useless. No real excitement about my to do list and no real feelings of accomplishment. As I look back, I can say I studied the Word, finished some laundry, check 3 other things off my to do list, played with my youngest daughter, gave a piano lesson, fixed dinner, and facilitated a Bible study. Not bad for one day and I would tell anyone else that was a great day of accomplishments. I am just at a point where I am wanting more. So I went into Tuesday a little down with no enthusiasm. Around 2:00 I made my way into the office to study the book of Ruth some more. All day I knew it should be my focus but I put it off. I don't know exactly what my purpose is in studying it so it is hard to get motivated. As I sat down at the computer with my Bibles and commentaries open I prayed (out loud mind you), "Okay Lord, here I am. Please use this time for your purposes. I really need some encouragement here. Please show me some awesome stuff in the book of Ruth that gives me direction or something that will let me know I am not wasting my time. I really need an 'at a girl today." So I dug into Ruth again. For such a short book there sure is a lot of lessons packed in it. Did you know that Ruth is a book about true love and virtue according to one commentary. Sounds like a young woman's lesson to me. There is also a great comparison of Boaz's characteristics and Christ's. For a man that is no better known than Boaz is, it was awesome to see his attributes compared to the One we all strive to be more like. Anyway, I learned some really cool stuff but it was time to pick up the kids and so I had to put it away. All I could really say for myself is that I put some time in. Blaaaahhhhh. That's what I felt. Blaaaahhhhh.
I picked myself up by the boot straps and moved on. I know in my mind I have nothing to complain about but my feelings say something different. Now we are getting to the good part!!!! At around 4:30 a friend texted me asking if she could ask me for some Godly advise. I said of course and that I would do my best. About 2 hours later she texted that a friend of hers is struggling with abstinence. At first I thought, sure I can help with that. I continued fixing dinner and as we were finishing eating it hit me. Oh my goodness!!!!! I have a whole chapter on abstinence and why God calls us to it! It is full of scriptures, stories, and suggestions. Oh my goodness!!! Could God have given me a quicker or more direct answer to my request. I guess maybe, but I love the one I got. I sure couldn't ask for more. I mean really! That book draft has been sitting on my desk for about 6 months and today, on the day I ask Him to show me that I am not wasting my time, He gives me my first reason to use it! God you are so good and never cease to amaze me.
Now, I know good and well that in reality I will not wake up tomorrow feeling completely fulfilled or clear about my current direction or goals. But by golly I am going to ride this wave of God meeting me right where I am for as long as I can. One step, that's all He is asking of me, one step. (man that is so hard for me but I'm trying!)
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
What is your gift?
What is it? No really, I am sure you have been asked before but take a moment and let yourself enjoy thinking about one of your strengths. Be proud of it, get excited about it. Is it organization, public speaking, cleaning, playing with children, listening, making people laugh. The list could go on forever. Mine is encouragement. I am certain that for this phase of my life I am to encourage others.
Last weekend at church Pastor Jeff preached on encouragement. I loved every minute of it. Everything he said rang true for me. The actions he suggested we take to encourage others sounded easy and exciting to me. It was when he described another pastor as a born encourager that I suddenly had clarity.
I am starting to recognize the way God speaks to me much more quickly. It's as if all the noise in my mind gets quiet and my mind feels clear, wide open.
At that moment in Pastor Jeff's message, God told me I am an encourager. Now, to be honest this is not a new concept for me. I have been told this before. It plays hand in hand with my optimism. But there have been many times that I have played down this gift. I would tell myself, "Well that just comes too easy for you. You always see the bright side. Don't push that on other people. You want to encourage people because it's so easy for you. You get too much enjoyment out of that, God must have something harder He needs you to do." As I sat listening to Pastor Jeff Saturday night though, I had a brand new perspective revealed to me. Encouraging others is a gift God has equipped me with. Just because I enjoy encouraging and it comes naturally to me doesn't mean it is something I just like to do. God equipped me that way. He wants me to use that gift as often as possible. He is calling me to drawl others to Him by encouraging them. I cannot express to you how excited I felt as I soaked in this realization. I feel so energized by this new perspective.
It wasn't long before I made the connection between encouraging others and the event I mentioned in my first post. The opportunity to organize an event that would encourage a large group of young women, is beyond exciting for me to daydream about. I am excited to jump in.
Join me in this new way of thinking. What is your gift? The one God equipped you with that comes naturally and that you enjoy. If it doesn't immediately pop into your mind pray about it. God will reveal it! Enjoy the ideas that come into your mind of how you may be able to use that gift for the glory of God.
Now one more thing, post it. I would love to see a whole list of gifts in the comments. No explanation needed. Step out in faith and allow me to celebrate with you, the gifts God has given each of us.
Last weekend at church Pastor Jeff preached on encouragement. I loved every minute of it. Everything he said rang true for me. The actions he suggested we take to encourage others sounded easy and exciting to me. It was when he described another pastor as a born encourager that I suddenly had clarity.
I am starting to recognize the way God speaks to me much more quickly. It's as if all the noise in my mind gets quiet and my mind feels clear, wide open.
At that moment in Pastor Jeff's message, God told me I am an encourager. Now, to be honest this is not a new concept for me. I have been told this before. It plays hand in hand with my optimism. But there have been many times that I have played down this gift. I would tell myself, "Well that just comes too easy for you. You always see the bright side. Don't push that on other people. You want to encourage people because it's so easy for you. You get too much enjoyment out of that, God must have something harder He needs you to do." As I sat listening to Pastor Jeff Saturday night though, I had a brand new perspective revealed to me. Encouraging others is a gift God has equipped me with. Just because I enjoy encouraging and it comes naturally to me doesn't mean it is something I just like to do. God equipped me that way. He wants me to use that gift as often as possible. He is calling me to drawl others to Him by encouraging them. I cannot express to you how excited I felt as I soaked in this realization. I feel so energized by this new perspective.
It wasn't long before I made the connection between encouraging others and the event I mentioned in my first post. The opportunity to organize an event that would encourage a large group of young women, is beyond exciting for me to daydream about. I am excited to jump in.
Join me in this new way of thinking. What is your gift? The one God equipped you with that comes naturally and that you enjoy. If it doesn't immediately pop into your mind pray about it. God will reveal it! Enjoy the ideas that come into your mind of how you may be able to use that gift for the glory of God.
Now one more thing, post it. I would love to see a whole list of gifts in the comments. No explanation needed. Step out in faith and allow me to celebrate with you, the gifts God has given each of us.
Friday, October 18, 2013
In the beginning....
On October 5th while riding in a moving truck, moving my parents from North Carolina to Texas, I believe I received an idea from God. I don't remember exactly what I was doing, except for traveling down Interstate 20 looking at grey pavement that looked very familiar at this point. We were about half way through a 25 hour drive. As I was helping my parents move across the country, the Lord began to move in me.
So hear I sit now typing. God has been working on me for some time to start a blog. My insecurities have gotten the best of me and so it has taken a while for me to get to this moment. In fact, on January 30th, 2013 I asked a friend how to start a blog. Now, on October 17th, 2013 I actually sit here at my computer full of courage to jump in. Well really, I'm all nerves and still wondering if I will hit the publish button. You see after typing the title of this post I hit the tab button thinking it would move my curser to the box where I would type my first post and instead it moved to the publish button. It startled me so much to see the publish button highlighted, that I almost stopped right there! My self talk at that point went something like this, "Okay really! Come on Candy, get over yourself, your insecurities. It's not about you!" And so I continue typing.
The title of this post came to me very quickly when I sat down. It reminds me that I am looking way beyond myself and leaning on God's plan and wisdom for this journey that I begin with you today. I thought it good to begin just the way God began in His word, 'in the beginning.' My prayer is that this journey will be honest, transparent, encouraging, and most of all, bring us all closer to our Lord and Savior. I wish I could tell you exactly what to expect from this blog. After all, that would mean that I have a well thought out plan and that would make me feel much more equipped and ready for the job. However, I know God usually doesn't work that way. He gives us the next step, often because that is all we can handle. So I am stepping out in faith, making my number one priority saying yes to wherever he leads me next.
I will be as forthcoming as possible on this blog. Many of the prayers and conversations I have in my head, I will now share with you. The answers, the unanswered, the questions (is that Him talking or me?), all of that. I will tell you what I believe God is revealing to me, what He is asking of me, where He is taking me. There will be times of strength and times of brokenness but I will share it all. You will hear about the times I get it right and the times I get it wrong. All of this will be shared in the hope that it strengthens you for your own journey. I believe God is teaching me to be vulnerable as He takes me into ministry. I pray that you are strengthened for your journey, as I share with you my imperfect journey.
So today I share this. While sitting in that moving truck a couple of weeks ago I was able to see a group of young women gathered together, drawling strength from one another, and preparing for their next steps. It was beautiful! The vision felt like it came out of nowhere and yet it was complete and real. God has given me a vision for an event to encourage young women. I can't be more specific because He hasn't revealed the details yet. I see such topics as:
And there you have it. I am going to take one step at a time on this journey I believe God is putting in front of me. I invite you to join me, sharing your own journey as you want to. I welcome comments about how God is working in your life so that we can drawl strength from one another. Wow! I feel like I just climbed a mountain, reached the summit, and have begun coasting down the other side.
God you are awesome! Absolutely amazing! I thank you for the journey you have chosen for each of us. I thank you for the hard times because I know you will carry us through and for the good times because with you they are oh so good.
I look forward to sharing with you again soon! Until then, I encourage you to step out in faith wherever God is calling you. Abraham set a great example for us.
By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God’s call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going. The Message Hebrews 11:8
October 17, 2013
So hear I sit now typing. God has been working on me for some time to start a blog. My insecurities have gotten the best of me and so it has taken a while for me to get to this moment. In fact, on January 30th, 2013 I asked a friend how to start a blog. Now, on October 17th, 2013 I actually sit here at my computer full of courage to jump in. Well really, I'm all nerves and still wondering if I will hit the publish button. You see after typing the title of this post I hit the tab button thinking it would move my curser to the box where I would type my first post and instead it moved to the publish button. It startled me so much to see the publish button highlighted, that I almost stopped right there! My self talk at that point went something like this, "Okay really! Come on Candy, get over yourself, your insecurities. It's not about you!" And so I continue typing.
The title of this post came to me very quickly when I sat down. It reminds me that I am looking way beyond myself and leaning on God's plan and wisdom for this journey that I begin with you today. I thought it good to begin just the way God began in His word, 'in the beginning.' My prayer is that this journey will be honest, transparent, encouraging, and most of all, bring us all closer to our Lord and Savior. I wish I could tell you exactly what to expect from this blog. After all, that would mean that I have a well thought out plan and that would make me feel much more equipped and ready for the job. However, I know God usually doesn't work that way. He gives us the next step, often because that is all we can handle. So I am stepping out in faith, making my number one priority saying yes to wherever he leads me next.
I will be as forthcoming as possible on this blog. Many of the prayers and conversations I have in my head, I will now share with you. The answers, the unanswered, the questions (is that Him talking or me?), all of that. I will tell you what I believe God is revealing to me, what He is asking of me, where He is taking me. There will be times of strength and times of brokenness but I will share it all. You will hear about the times I get it right and the times I get it wrong. All of this will be shared in the hope that it strengthens you for your own journey. I believe God is teaching me to be vulnerable as He takes me into ministry. I pray that you are strengthened for your journey, as I share with you my imperfect journey.
So today I share this. While sitting in that moving truck a couple of weeks ago I was able to see a group of young women gathered together, drawling strength from one another, and preparing for their next steps. It was beautiful! The vision felt like it came out of nowhere and yet it was complete and real. God has given me a vision for an event to encourage young women. I can't be more specific because He hasn't revealed the details yet. I see such topics as:
- What were you created for?
- The healing process
- Insecurities
- Abstinence
- Preparing to be a Godly wife.
And there you have it. I am going to take one step at a time on this journey I believe God is putting in front of me. I invite you to join me, sharing your own journey as you want to. I welcome comments about how God is working in your life so that we can drawl strength from one another. Wow! I feel like I just climbed a mountain, reached the summit, and have begun coasting down the other side.
God you are awesome! Absolutely amazing! I thank you for the journey you have chosen for each of us. I thank you for the hard times because I know you will carry us through and for the good times because with you they are oh so good.
I look forward to sharing with you again soon! Until then, I encourage you to step out in faith wherever God is calling you. Abraham set a great example for us.
By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God’s call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going. The Message Hebrews 11:8
October 17, 2013
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